Internet abuse. It’s real.

One evening a few years ago I came home from a ministry I was working to hear from my brother that my family had been featured on a form that discussed the Duggar family. My brother showed me the thread and…well, let’s just say that it made me sick to my stomach. And really angry. Because my family had agreed to be in a major spotlight one time, we were being torn apart, ripped up, judged, and in general, hated on. These people didn’t even know us! They didn’t know my dad’s heart to give life and love to as many as God would allow him to. They didn’t know my mom’s daily sacrifice to her family, her joy and her servant’s heart. They didn’t know how much us kids loved life, each other, our parents–the freedom we felt within our family to pursue great things, and to find out for ourselves what was true. They really had no clue, and yet they were ready to pronounce us worth sterilization among other horrible things.

This evening I came across another thread in which our family was brought up again. Remembering the last time, I knew I ought not to look, but I’m a glutton for punishment, so I looked anyway. I found myself hugely grateful of a few things: one being that we are no longer interesting enough to talk about beyond a mention, and the other being that despite how easy it would be to find us and our lives all over the internet today, they haven’t in all this time found anything besides our old, outdated, family website. As much as I love my life and my family, as proud as I am of each one of them and what they are doing with their lives, I have no desire for the information to fall into the hands of such careless, ignorant people.

I realize tonight that my family is just a minor case in the middle of millions of cases of internet abuse. I have seen sad, horrid, and heartbreaking displays of hatred on innocent people through the internet. It makes me hurt more than anything. It makes me hate the internet. It makes me think poorly of the human race.

When did it become acceptable to regularly attack a fellow human being with the sharpest weapon of all: the tongue? When did picking apart somebody else’s life become reasonable conduct? I shudder to think of the rioting that would happen if half of these conversations happened face to face. When did hurling an insult become a common, careless act? I thought insults were supposed to be handled carefully, and even then, came with direct consequences. Who told the world that this was not only okay, but necessary? The only thing it’s necessary for is our demise.

The internet has made a monster out of the human race. What are we going to do to stop it?

I have a list of suggestions for us, please feel free to add any other ideas you may have.

1. Give the benefit of the doubt to anyone and everyone. They may have been misunderstood or they may have a really personal reason behind their statement. I shouldn’t have to give more examples. Everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt.

2. Answer everyone respectfully. You may wish for them to hear what you say on a topic. If you treat them poorly, they will tune you out.

3. Allow others to have a different opinion than you have. Think how awfully mundane this world would be if everyone thought alike. God created each one of us so uniquely. Appreciate the diversity and find a good quality in that person that you can benefit from learning.

4. Give a person room to grow. Their opinion could have changed. They may have learned from mistakes. Let that be a huge possibility. You too have made mistakes before. Don’t drag others down with their pasts.

5. Rejoice with those who rejoice, mourn with those who mourn. Give the compassion you would wish to have in your turn. A time of rejoicing does not need a wet blanket thrown on, and a time of mourning does not need your “I told you so”.

6. People say stupid things. These things do not deserve an answer. At least not online. A careful confrontation face to face or a gentle rebuke in private could be profitable for helping the person, but keep it private and personal.

7. If you feel personally attacked, it is probably wise to step away, knowing that the person attacking is a human being who has obviously forgotten that you are the same. If it is a person you know, again you might consider discussing it personally with them, but keep it offline. If it is someone you don’t know, either ignore it or answer it with kind humility. “A soft answer turns away wrath.”

8. If a friend shows poor taste in their humor and you are disgusted by it, remove it from your view. There are plenty of ways to censor what you see on the internet. If you feel the display ought to be addressed, refer to number 6.

I could add some major ones such as, keep your political and religious opinions off the internet. It would solve a lot of drama, but that would also be promoting the culture of shut-up. That is the last thing I want to do. My goal here is to raise awareness of internet abuse, and to encourage an overall cleanse. If you can’t say it to a face, don’t say it at all. Let’s each one of us work to make our own personal surroundings a positive circle that promotes good will toward men.