I really thought I’d be back here sooner, and yet, life picked up the pace and I’ve been struggling to keep up. Not even 6 months of living in Idaho has taught me that the summer months are not to be squandered. Today, I began a list of projects that can wait until winter, and another list of activities that can wait until winter (the indoor kind).

In growing, I feel like I’ve taken some huge steps backward. Attitudes and reactions that I thought were behind me have flared up, and I am sometimes bewildered by their reappearance, but more often than not, I am caught up in them, just like before. I am searching. Always searching. Sometimes consciously, and sometimes very unconsciously. I feel so far from having everything figured out. Most days I feel like a mess, but God meets me where I am. He delivers me from fear, He brings peace in the middle of the turmoil, and I am so thankful for that.

There is a lot going on around me. Hard things that people whom I love are dealing with. Awful tragedies our sheltered minds cannot fully fathom. It’s easy to get caught up in the idea that I ought to keep my mouth shut because my little battles are nothing compared to those others are fighting. And perhaps that is not necessarily a bad thought altogether. It’s good for us to stop and think about whether our griefs are petty or legitimate.

At the same time, I find an overwhelming comfort in the confidence I have that God still cares about my petty little griefs. That He has the time for both, for all of us. He’s that big! And He wants me to tell Him!

“Cast your cares on Him, for He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7) It doesn’t say, “Only cast your big cares on Him, for he is too busy for the small ones,” nor does it outline what qualifies as a legitimate care.

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:6-7

I think that one of the devil’s best strategies against us is to keep us separate from God by convincing us that we are not worthy to bring ourselves, our anxieties, our burdens, our cares -and especially not our sin- before God. His lies are extreme and far reaching in this offense:

“You’re not worthy.”

“God doesn’t care about a little thing like that.”

“Who do you think you are, bringing up such a silly thing when others are going through so much?”

“You should try to handle this on your own.”

“What a silly thing to pray about.”

“Do you think God has time for something like that with everything else going on?”

For me, as a kid, it was the little things, the little gifts, the little answers to silly, childlike prayers that caught my attention. Like praying that I wouldn’t have nightmares, and including the caveat that if my dream that night was going to be a nightmare, that I wouldn’t dream at all. (I had very few dreams in my childhood after praying this regularly before bed.) Or praying that my mouth would have room for my eye-teeth because I was terrified of having to undergo an extraction. I was one of the only girls in my family who did not need a pallet expander. My eye-teeth had room. I still had to get three teeth pulled when I got braces. 😀 But by then, I knew that God had answered my petition. He still felt I needed to face my fear, but He wanted me to know He was there.

As an adult, I still throw up childlike petitions, and I still carry childlike cares. But God meets me in those times. He gives me little gifts to remind me that I can still trust in him.

I recently shared how God had done this very thing. It had meant so much to me when He sent help and encouragement in the middle of my very typical, housekeeping cares and stresses. It was a reminder to me that I mattered to Him. That I could trust Him. That I needed to surrender to Him more often.

It’s embarrassing to say just how ashamed I felt afterward. One of the group I shared with responded that this was nothing compared to what another person we knew about was going through. Man, did I feel stupid! I felt humiliated for the rest of the day. That evening, while having it all out with God, I realized (God reminded me) that it didn’t matter what anyone else said or even thought. It was important what He had done for me. And it was important for me to acknowledge what He did.

We all have a different story. Some of us will meet God in extraordinary circumstances, our faith will grow because of it, and our testimonies will be strong because of it. Some of us will meet God in the day to day, and our faith will grow because of it, and our testimonies will be strong because of it.

It’s truly difficult to measure hardship. We can all say that there is one thing we would prefer to go through over another, but we are each limited in what our human minds and bodies and hearts can endure before we give up. It is only God who carries us beyond that limit. And we, each of us, have God to lean on, if only we will surrender to Him.

Peace is the trophy and Surrender is the key. Whether you’re trying to maintain a reasonably tidy home, or walking towards death’s door. God will meet you, guide you, and bring you peace if you surrender to Him.

So don’t be ashamed to ask God about the little things, to bring him your petty griefs. He just wants you, it’s what He’s waiting for.

And never be ashamed to share what He has done for you. Some of us are wondering how to find Him in what can feel like the humdrum of life, and we need to be reminded that He’s there to be found.